Why December 15 Might Be the Most Sexless Day of the Year—And How to Change That

Picture this: It’s mid-December. You’ve just crawled into bed, exhausted from a day of juggling work deadlines, holiday prep, and everything in between. You glance over at your partner and realize it’s been days—maybe even weeks—since you’ve been intimate. You'd love to connect, but with the busyness of everything going on, who's got the energy? You give them a quick kiss and roll over for some much-needed sleep. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

December 15 has been unofficially dubbed the most sexless day of the year, and while it might seem like a silly day to mark, there’s some usefulness to highlighting it—there’s actually some truth behind it. Between the demands of the holiday season, financial pressures, and general end-of-year fatigue, intimacy often takes a backseat. But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to stay this way (hard to believe, I know).

Why December 15?

Let’s break it down. By this point in the month:

  • The novelty of holiday cheer has worn off, and the stress has definitely settled in.

  • Cold weather has many of us preferring weighted blankets to tangled limbs.

  • Financial strain from holiday shopping and planning can weigh heavily.

  • Many couples feel disconnected from their own respective responsibilities and continue to run on autopilot just to get through the season.

It’s no wonder that intimacy can feel like the last thing on your mind. But here’s the thing: prioritizing your sexual connection doesn’t just benefit your relationship—although it may not lead to a "silent night," it will absolutely bring “comfort and joy” to your holiday season. In fact, making space for intimacy could be one of the best gifts you give yourself and your partner this year.

Why You Need to Care

When intimacy and connection slip off the radar, it can leave us feeling even more stressed and isolated. Physical touch and emotional closeness release feel-good hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins, which reduce stress, boost your mood, and strengthen your bond with your partner. These moments of connection can also provide a grounding sense of security, reminding you that you’re facing life’s challenges as a team. And let’s be honest: a little holiday magic in the bedroom can make all the difference in how you experience the rest of the season, shifting your mindset from frazzled to fulfilled.

On the flip side, letting your connection slide can increase feelings of distance and even lead to resentment or frustration during an already tense time of year. Over time, this can create a cycle of emotional withdrawal that becomes harder to break. By bringing attention back to your sexual relationship, you create an opportunity to feel more connected, more supported, and better equipped to handle the stress of the season together. Taking even small steps to prioritize intimacy can turn an overwhelming season into one filled with warmth, closeness, and renewed appreciation for one another.

5 Quick Tips to Reignite Connection This December

  1. Schedule It: Sexual connection doesn’t have to be spontaneous to be meaningful. Set aside time to focus solely on each other—undress slowly, make eye contact, and let the anticipation build. Even 15 minutes of intentional intimacy can reignite passion and remind you both of what you love about being together.

  2. Turn Off the Tech: Create a no-phone zone for an evening (or even just a few hours) and use the time to explore each other’s bodies without distractions. Focus on touch, sensation, and rediscovering each other. Use this space to talk about fantasies or desires that have been on your mind but perhaps left unspoken.

  3. Get Cozy: Light a candle, grab some blankets, and cuddle up. Turn your space into a sensual haven—soft lighting, soothing scents, and undistracted attention on one another. Play soft music, sip something warm, and let the mood build naturally toward something intimate and passionate.

  4. Communicate Your Needs: Talk openly with your partner about what excites you, what you need, and what you want to explore. Vulnerability isn’t just sexy—it’s the key to deeper sexual intimacy. If you’re feeling stuck, try my "Yes/No/Together/Solo" couples workbook to start the conversation and open up new possibilities.

  5. Try Something New: Explore something outside your comfort zone—a new position, a sensual massage, or even introducing toys. Novelty can spark excitement and remind you both of the thrill of discovery. If you’re not sure where to start, consider picking up a guide to enhance your shared experiences or trying a playful game to break the ice.

Don’t Let December 15 Set the Tone

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to accept December 15 as the most sexless day of the year. It can be a turning point instead. By taking even small steps to prioritize intimacy and rediscover pleasure, you can create a season filled with connection, joy, and passion.

If you’re ready to make a change but aren’t sure where to start, I’d love to help. Book a coaching call with me, and let’s create a plan to bring more connection, joy, and spice into your life. Because you deserve more than just surviving the holidays—you deserve to thrive.

Click here to book your call today.

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